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I cannot thank everyone enough for all of the well wishes, thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement!! Each and every one touched me so very much 🙂

And what happened? Well, technically it’s good news. And I will say for sure that this doctor is a million times better than my last one, in terms of listening to me and basing his conclusions on what I was actually feeling, rather than how I SHOULD be feeling after 10 weeks, you know? He was super friendly and open to any questions I had. After telling him how I was feeling and whatnot, he came to the conclusion, in his opinion, that I am healing as I should. He said that he saw no reason that my bones should be having problems healing. In his opinion, the pain/discomfort/whatever you want to call it that I’m feeling now is more of a muscular thing than pain from my bones. He said that the muscles are now probably weak, which is causing me some discomfort. And that this was more of a “training issue” than anything now. He has recommended me to a friend of his for physical therapy who is actually a runner herself, so she will have a good understanding of what I’m going through and how to help me; I saw this as a huge blessing. And about how my last doctor told me I needed to go out and start walking and jogging, my new doctor was horrified by that. He said that it was not a good idea, like I thought. He wants me to start my swimming and then go from there, if, and only if, I don’t have an increase in pain, which is the key. He says that I will still feel this same discomfort and that it is normal but physical therapy will help that a lot. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get an appointment with the physical therapist until March 31 :/ I hate it that you have to wait SO long to get an appointment sometimes. And my doctor did say that this was not going to be an easy or short process, getting me feeling better and ultimately back to running, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes at this point.

So after that, I should be happy right? I should be. Funny thing is, I’m not. I’m not sure why. I’m going to the local YMCA to join tomorrow so that I can swim (side note – I already have a gym membership somewhere else but they don’t have a pool and at that gym I had to sign a yearly contract, which doesn’t run out until next Jan. So yes… 3 months have gone by with ZERO gym use, i.e. money wasted. And apparently you can’t go swimming at the Y unless you have a membership SO my mom graciously offered to pay for mine since I’m paying for the other gym too… thank you mom!) In any case, I’m scared out of my mind. Not just of swimming but of doing something. I’m SO afraid that I’m going to hurt myself or hurt my injury and ruin any progress that I’ve made. Even though my doctor said that I would be fine and that swimming is a perfect place to start. But my thing is… how can he know, for SURE, that I’m healing without seeing an MRI? Many things that I have read about this injury say that it can take 3 months to a year to heal… so how can he say for sure that I’m ready to start an activity? Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to do something… I mean, I’ve been DYING to do anything active. But I’m just so SO scared!!! But I’m not a doctor, he is. What else can I do? I should listen to him, right?

I just don’t understand why this news didn’t make me happy. I mean, it was almost as if he had told me bad news. I guess it’s because there is still nothing I can do to fix it, nothing to make it better. He didn’t give me bad news but I still feel… empty. Honestly, when I got home from the doctor I just mentally/emotionally couldn’t take it anymore and sat down on my kitchen floor and cried for hours. I don’t know why I’m feeling like this or having such a hard time trusting… I want to believe what my doctor told me, with everything in me, but I find myself doubting and I don’t know why. I know that I need to snap out of this and do what I can and see what happens… I guess? Any thoughts? Should I go ahead and try the swimming?

 

So after all of that and going bathing suit shopping (fyi, I remembered why I hated one-piece bathing suits so much…), the fun dinner I had planned (sushi) was not going to happen. Honestly, I was in no mood to try my hand at something so difficult today. And my mom is having a bake sale at her office tomorrow anyway and so I spent most of the night baking Paula Deen’s Gooey Butter Cake and some “Snickers Cup Cakes.” I can’t share the recipe for the cup cakes because it’s in Food Network Magazine’s last issue but if I was you, I’d search down the magazine and make these cupcakes – they are the BOMB! Now, they are definitely not healthy but they are oh so delicious!

IMG_4845 The cupcake base is kind of like a yellow cake with peanuts running through it, topped with a peanut butter nougat, topped with chocolate frosting and peanuts.

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I started off my day with more cottage cheese oats. I’m looooving this whipped cottage cheese!!!

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This was just the usual base of 1/2 cup oats, 1/2 cup water, 1/2 cup milk, pinch of salt, cinnamon, and 1/2 banana. I then mixed in 1/4 cup or so of whipped cottage cheese and topped it with some PB & Co. Mighty Maple.

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Lunch was thrown together with the intent of using the least dishes as possible. Our sink was currently overflowing with dirty dishes (we don’t usually let it get this bad…) and I didn’t want to add any more to it than necessary.

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I defrosted a frozen whole wheat bagel thin and added Laughing Cow light cheese, Boar’s Head Monterey jack cheese, baby spinach, and tomato. With hummus on the side. I was going to add some deli meat but it smelled funky.. so that was a no go.

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But it was still good. Very cheesy anyway 😀

I also had some frozen berries (blueberries, raspberries, strawberries) topped with some plain Kefir and coconut Kefir. YUM!!!

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I had a snack of half of this Cliff Bar before going to the doctor.

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I finally hunted down this flavor after months of wanting it and it did not disappoint!! I love my Cliff Bars!

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Dinner was pretty much thrown together from what we had in the fridge. It was one of those nights where I was hungry but nothing sounded really appetizing.

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I cooked some Kale in a skillet with splash of water and a splash of POM (best idea EVER!!!). I then added a chopped sweet potato that I had microwaved for 3 minutes until partially cooked, 1/2 an apple, salt, pepper, and Agave Nectar. I let it cook for a bit and then added a handful of baby spinach.

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YUM!! These flavors went together amazingly. The only thing it was missing was some sort of protein… I bet some quinoa would be great in this! But not bad for coming up with it off the top of my head.

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I also had a slice of Great Harvest bread with some whipped butter.

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I had a bite of one of the cupcakes for dessert (just to taste, I wasn’t really in the mood for it). What I really wanted was some of this Thin Mint Frozen Yogurt from Publix.

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YUM!!! I’ve been on a mint chocolate kick lately and it’s not going anywhere anytime soon 🙂

 

I also ended up having a handful of cereal, strawberries, and some Kefir.

 

I do apologize for this slightly down post. I hope to be back to my usual happy and positive self tomorrow!

Good night loves!

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