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How is everyone? Enjoying some beautiful weather I hope!!! If you didn’t know better, stepping outside you would think that it is summer!! I intend to soak up some sun myself on my deck tomorrow 🙂

This is going to be a fairly short post as I am SUPER sleepy right now (I know that you just needed to know that 😉 ). I had a minor freak out (yet again) last night about my injury and cried to my mom. So she called my doctor today to talk to him about it. He wasn’t there but she was able to speak with some other doctors who told her that the recovery from this injury was going to be painful and that it IS normal that I’m still in pain. Which is comforting to know that what I’m experiencing is normal, but sucks nonetheless. So they gave me some prescription pain medication to help with the pain. I HATE taking meds but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do, you know? And I have a very strange body that reacts in crazy ways to medication of any kind. This medication has a warning that it may cause drowsiness and boy has it ever. And I only took half the dose! But if it helps I guess it’s worth it… And apparently I have a doctor’s appointment on Monday (which we actually didn’t know about) so we shall see what he says! Until then, I’m just trying to relax and not stress about it all. Trying is the operative word 😀

My eats today were not that exciting but were very delicious!

I started the day off with my first bowl of coffee oats! YUM! Thank you Jessica!

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The bowl contained a base of whipped banana oats with coffee added (hazelnut coffee to be exact).

  • 1/2 cup oats
  • 1/2 cup coffee
  • 1/4 cup milk
  • 1/4 cup water
  • pinch of salt
  • 1/2 banana

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I then topped it with some PB & Co. White Chocolate Wonderful and Dark Chocolate Dreams.

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It was really good!!! Definitely a nice change 🙂

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I was randomly craving some French toast at lunch and I wasn’t going to rest until I had some. So I did.

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I dipped a slice of Great Harvest bread in a mixture of 1 egg white, splash of milk, apple pie spices, and vanilla. I cooked it over medium for 2-3 minutes on each side.  I also added some brown sugar on the eggy side of the toast before I flipped it over which ended up caramelizing.

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Topped with an apple that I cored, sliced, sprinkled with apple pie spices and brown sugar and cooked in the skillet for 2-3 minutes on each side before I cooked the French toast.

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Would you believe that this was the first time I ever made French toast? It was a success!!

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I also had a giant GM on the side that had:

  • BIG handful of spinach
  • frozen blueberries
  • 1/2 frozen banana
  • 1/2 cup yogurt
  • splash of milk
  • pinch of stevia
  • crushed ice

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It looks pretty gross but it was delicious!!

 

And then my mom made dinner. On the menu was turkey burgers and fries. YUM.

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My turkey burger was pretty simple with ketchup and mustard.

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And French fries on the side. Can I tell you how BADLY I’ve been craving good old fashioned French fries?! They were awesome! And they were baked so they weren’t actually “fried.” Sometimes nothing hits the spot but the real deal…

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And I may have went back for a few more fries…

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And mushrooms.

 

I had an un-pictured Nature’s Path thin mint cookie and a small bowl of Special K Fruit and Yogurt cereal for dessert.

 

So I am going to get a bit introspective for a moment. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about forgiveness (that’s what I get for having a LOT of time on my hands). And the song that I’m going to post below is what started it all. I wrote about it on here a while ago but I was in a relationship for 4 years and it ended badly, last July. Badly as in… bad. As in, I hated him when things fell apart and I’m pretty sure he hates me. It was not a good relationship for me and I was hurt in so many ways. Hurt so badly that I’ve not been able to allow someone to get close to me since then. Without even meaning to, I push people away because I don’t want to ever hurt like that again. You know, love is a powerful thing. It can be so amazing and so good and can make you SO happy. But when someone who you love hurts you, it hurts worse than almost anything in the world. Letting go of that hurt and moving on is near to impossible. I have lived in absolute FEAR of running into him (the town that I live in is NOT that big) for almost a year now because of what may happen. I have finally, after all this time, forgiven him. I don’t hate him anymore, just like that. I’m not the person I was when we were together. What I went through was hard but I have grown so much as a person since then. It’s one of those things that you don’t understand at the time but are able to see in the end that it happened for a reason. I would not be who I am today without that.

I sent him an e-mail, telling him all this, that I hope he’s happy and that I wish him the best. And I never heard back from him and a part of me knows that I probably won’t. I hope that one day I hear from him. When you are with someone that long, when you care about someone that much, a part of them never leaves you. It sounds so corny but he has a part of my heart and I’m not sure I’ll ever be the same. And I want to know how he is. And I hope that one day he can accept my forgiveness and forgive me too. But until then, you know what? I have never felt so free. Hatred and grudges, well it only hurts you in the end. By holding to my hate and hurt, I was not making him miserable, I was making ME miserable. I was not gaining anything from hating his guts. I mean sure,  I haven’t forgotten what he did to me. And I’m not about to try to be friends with him… but I’m not going to let my past determine my future any longer. Sometimes it’s not easy to forgive and sometimes it takes a while. But ultimately, it’s the best thing.

 

So, on a happier note, I have a SUPER fun guest post coming up tomorrow that you DON’T want to miss!! So until then, have a great Friday loves!

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I’m not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I’m not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I’m not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it’s a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I’m not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe ’cause I want it so much
I’m not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that’s what love is all about

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