almond breeze, almond milk, bagel, Chick-Fil-A, Cliff Bars, Cliff Mojo, Dark Chocolate, eating disorder. kashi, heart to heart, Lara Bar, panera, peach, peanut butter, pubic ramus stress fracture, publix, running injury, snackface, stir fry, stress fracture, Target
It feels like it’s been ages and ages since I’ve posted. And I do think this may have been the longest I’ve gone without posting? It wasn’t intentional but I’ve actually been busy, which is a good thing. This is going to be a massive post soo I apologize in advance.
Yesterday was absolutely epic. In so many ways. It was a major kick in my ED’s butt, for one thing. One of my friends asked me to go tubing with her and a bunch of other people down in a lower area of the state. I had never been tubing before but I said sure, sounds like fun. I’ll try anything once… So I went and bought my tube and off we went… It was an experience, to say the least. Have you ever been tubing? It was a LOT of fun. But just a bit painful… think ICE cold water, a high river, rapids, and rocks. Yeah. My butt may never be the same… It was numb but that actually worked out to my advantage when I hit it on the rocks because apparently, if there is a rock, I WILL hit it. But after the rapids, it kind of turned into a lazy river. I think we were moving maybe 5 mph? Maybe. Fun times. Except when we ran into a HUGE group of creepy drunks who invited us to their birthday party.. Ummmm surrrrre we’ll be there. So it was fun, but pretty painful. I am sporting several battle scars today and I kind of can’t move in certain ways.. which I contribute to hitting the rocks and falling when getting OUT of my tube and then falling AGAIN when I slipped on a rock. Embarrassing…
But after the tubing came the big part, in my book. We were invited to a cookout and it was BYOM. That is, Bring Your Own Meat, not Bring Your Own Man (as my friends and I joked about 😉 ). I was the only person there who didn’t eat beef/pork, etc. And I don’t know why, but I kind of just went with the flow. We decided to buy hot dogs and bring them, as well as hamburgers. And I don’t know, I was just like OK I can eat a hot dog. I haven’t eaten beef in probably 6-7 years but it’s all good. Because I got to thinking about ED behaviors. [Warning: If you are Vegan/Vegetarian, be warned] I decided to not eat meat the same time my ED started and I’ve been thinking that I believe there is a correlation there. My aversion to meat honestly started because of the calories and fat, not because of ethical reasons. As stupid as that is. But I always told people it was because I didn’t believe it was ethically right. Over time, I educated myself about it and I now DO think there are so many things wrong with the meat industry but at the same time, do I want to avoid meat my entire life? Is eating meat really wrong? I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure that out. All I knew last night was that if I ate that hot dog, it would mean taking a HUGE stand against my ED. And I actually WANTED it. So I ate it. And so sue me, it was delicious. And absolutely no regrets! Will I make this a habit? I’m not sure. I still have to think about it. But I DO know that I CAN do it.
And then today, I took yet ANOTHER stand and ate a bagel. So what, you ask? Well, bagels are another food that my ED hates. I haven’t had one in oh… YEARS. And the sad thing is, I LOVE bagels!! But for some reason, my ED just decided that it was off limits. The carbs maybe? I don’t know. But Melissa reminded me how much I loved them and how important it is to eat what you want, not necessarily what you think you “should” eat. And she gave me the encouragement I needed to face the fear of the bagel. So I did 🙂 I don’t know if it was the confidence boost from last night or what it was, but I did it today. I ate a French Toast bagel from Panera for lunch. And it was AMAZING. Doughy and sweet and delicious… and NO REGRETS. None. Nothing! And the weird thing is, this bagel was scarier to me than the hot dog from last night. Bizarre, huh? And the best part of both the hot dog and the bagel is that I am not remorseful or feel the need to “make up for it.” Guys, this is BIG for me. So know this, if you are scared of something, face it! Just DO it! There’s nothing that will make you feel stronger like facing something you were afraid of and finding that it’s not so scary after all 🙂
Not only with this but lately I’ve been pushing my boundaries and getting out of my comfort zone, if you will. And you know what? It’s great! Really, you don’t know what you can do until you PUSH yourself. Sometimes the scariest things are the things that make you grow the most and give you the most happiness in the end!
And now I will share with you some things I’ve eaten since last week spoke.. but don’t get too too excited. I didn’t take all that many pictures because I was out with other people most of the weekend, those who don’t know about my blog.
I had a delicious breakfast on Friday!
Kashi Heart to Heart, 1/2 of a banana, peanut butter, and almond milk.
I have a feeling this will be my go-to summer breakfast…
I then had this sandwich for lunch..
It had roast chicken deli meat, Monterey Jack cheese, and mustard, all on Publix Whole Wheat Italian 5 Grain bread.
Along with these grapes…
I then met my best friend from high school that I hadn’t seen in a almost a year for a little chat at Starbucks, but I ended up not ordering anything.
Afterwards, I went to Target and got some things for my trip to Ireland. I actually came out with ONLY things I needed! Go me!
I had these two bars for a snack…
A Cliff Mojo bar..
And a mini Cashew Cookie Larabar! I found a package of mini ones at Target! Woo!
I then went out to dinner with another friend and I had a grilled chicken sandwich with honey mustard and a couple of onion rings.
Breakfast Saturday morning was a repeat of Friday.
I apologize but this is SO GOOD.
Thank you Megan!
I then had this grilled chicken sandwich from Chick-Fil-A on the way to go tubing, which lasted me until dinner.
Dinner was said hot dog, some chips, and these potato casserole thing. Not the healthiest but SO GOOD.
And then today, I had the same breakfast AGAIN…
Almost. I had a white peach in place of the banana.
I spent the day at my aunt’s pool but I stopped on my way to grab lunch…
Lunch was the EPIC bagel…
Doesn’t look like much but it was gooooood…
And some grapes.
And an Oreo. Heh…
I kind of made up for the lackluster nutrition of earlier by having a giant stir-fry for dinner.
It had brown rice, squash, broccoli, mushrooms, scrambled egg, cilantro, salted peanuts, fresh corn, teriyaki, and soy sauce.
I swear, the corn MAKES this stir-fry.. sounds odd but it’s so good!
I also had some dark chocolate for dessert.
And if you are still hanging in there, congratulations!! And thank you for sticking with me! I’m about to hopefully go out and “live my best life,” a la SnackFace! I encourage you to do the same! 🙂
“Serendipity – Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you’ve found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.” –Lawrence Block