“What brings death to one brings life to another. “
– Irish proverb
As I alluded to in my return post, life has changed quite drastically since last we spoke. Back in April, I became engaged to who I thought was the love of my life and I moved in with him in June. Unfortunately, things don’t always work out as planned. Without going into details, we have recently became un-engaged and have taken our separate paths, mine leading me back to living with my parents [insert a very long, emotional and difficult moving back home process]. While I know that this is the right thing for both myself and him, it’s not easy when your world is turned upside down and everything you thought was up is down and everything you thought was right is wrong.
“You can’t reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s junk.”
In any case, even though it’s a sad thing it’s happy as well. I’m scared to be alone again but at the same time, I’d rather be alone for a while and meet who I am SUPPOSED to be with than try to force something that isn’t right. I do believe everything happens for a reason and so I don’t look at this a year wasted. I grew, I learned, I loved, and I got wiser. And I’m beginning to realize what I truly want out of life… or at least what I need in a future spouse. And while a broken engagement might not something to be proud of, it is what it is and I’m trying to take it and make it something positive.
“Sometimes, we are afraid of moving on because we prefer sticking to the things we know all about. We call this certainty. We tend to hold on to something, just because we’ve gotten used to it. Making changes has a certain risk and people are afraid of this risk. But, you should know that this risk is never greater than your potential success.”
And so, I’m coming out of this a stronger and a much different person. I realize now that really, you only get one shot at life. And living a life that you know deep down is not right, is not the way to use it up. I want to LIVE. I want to see the world. I want to find a job that I will love. I want to be, simply, happy. And one day, when the time is right, I want to meet my soul mate. While it may take a while for that time to come, it is ok, because I want to find myself. Travel the world and see and do things I’ve only dreamed about. And why dream? Life is there, for the taking. And it’s up to you to make the most of it!
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.”
I will expand further on why my relationship didn’t quite work out and what all I learned but for now, this is enough. Know that I am back to blogging… but maybe not the The Process of Healing you are used to. It won’t always be day to day eats (although some days it may be) but recipes, life adventures, a cute quote, a funny story,… or whatever I wish to share. I thought about changing the name but then I realized something… every phase of life is a Process of Healing. While this one is quite different than the one that compelled me to start blogging, it is still a process of healing, a process of learning. So I do hope that you will continue (or begin?) reading this little blog that is my outlet, my little corner of the universe. Stay tuned!