Tags
amazing grass, Fage, greek yogurt, laughing cow, Nature's Path, PB & Co., physical therapy, pubic ramus stress fracture, running injury, trader joe's, Vita top
Happy Thursday! Almost Friday… Yay!
I do want to clarify from yesterday’s post, I have been in pain all throughout PT. I’ve been in pain all the while I was on crutches and for the past months. In fact, I honestly can’t remember what it feels like to NOT be in pain. My doctor did say that it was going to be painful and so I know that’s normal. But the difference in the pain I was referring to from PT is that it’s sharper pain in my groin area, rather than this pain/soreness in my hip area that I’ve been having for months. And I did talk to my therapist about it and so we took it super easy with PT yesterday. In fact, it was kind of pointless to go because we did the same exercises that I for PT everyday at home. But I digress… she said that it was normal (she gave me this long-winded explanation of why involving some nerve and some muscle and something or another) but that if got worse then we should be concerned. She also said that this sometimes happens when you are pushed too far too soon with PT so she is going to back off on the intensity of things that I’m doing a bit. So at the moment, no concern.
In other medical news, I see my nutritionist next Tuesday morning (at 8 A.M… woo..). I (er, my mom) went and picked up some very detailed forms that I have to fill out prior to my visit including a detailed description of everything I eat for 3 days, meaning I have to measure EVERYTHING. Pain in my bootay. And I have to admit, it’s something my ED just loves… measuring. Which makes subconscious calorie counting that much easier, something I do not need to do. But she needs the information so what can you do? The forms that I have to fill out are VERY detailed and ask all sorts of questions about your history of eating and whatnot… meaning I have to into detail about my eating disorder, something I’m not looking forward to. In fact, I almost had a little panic attack just looking at the things I have to fill out. There’s a big difference in admitting that you had/have a problem and talking about it on paper and to another person than just knowing it in your head, if that makes any sense? I have talked about my ED with my mom and my best friend a bit, but that’s it. I’ve NEVER told anyone the whole story (aside from blogging about it) and I have to say, I am pretty scared about talking to my nutritionist about it. Ok, I am terrified. Deep breath… She seems really nice though and I know that this is going to go a long way in correcting my osteopenia, I hope.
I started the day off with a bowl of cereal this morning.
This would be 1 cup of Nature’s Path Blueberry Cinnamon, 1/2 cup Kashi Puffs, 1/2 of a banana, blackberries, and 1% milk (added later).
Can you tell I’m addicted to blackberries?! I used to HATE them. Don’t know what I was thinking with that one… Silly me.
After breakfast I went to a friend’s house and we spent some time gabbing and playing Uno (because we are cool like that 😉 ) and then I came home for a quick lunch before work.
I had a wrap almost the same as yesterday..
It had:
- deli chicken
- laughing cow cheese
- spinach
- pickles
- mustard
Yeah so pickles and laughing cow cheese are AMAZING together. Just saying…
Have your tastes changed over the years too? I used to HATE pickles, and blackberries, among other things and now I can’t get enough!
I also had this awesome powder from my Amazing Grass package from yesterday.
OH yes! Check out all those fruits and veggies!
I mixed it with 1 cup of 1% milk. I swear, it tasted like chocolate milk!!! Now, I like the regular Chocolate Amazing Grass powder but I must admit that it has hint of a “green” taste but this, oh this, chocolate milk… If you have kids, this would be an awesome way to help them get their greens in!
I also had an apple with a drizzle of TJ’s salted creamy almond butter.
And then for dinner, my mom had this taco bake thing planned.
It’s SO easy! Simply brown up some ground meat (we used turkey but you could also use tofu or tempeh or whatever) and add some taco seasonings and water and let it cook down. Then layer in a 9’ round dish starting with a tortilla and then 1/4 of the taco mixture and repeat 4 times. Top with a bit of cheese and bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Top as desired!
We topped ours with tomato, lettuce, and light sour cream. So simple but SO good!!! So I celebrated Cinco de Mayo a day late 😉
I had a coconut cookie for dessert, along with this yogurt mess.
It had yogurt, a chocolate Vita-Top, and some PB & Co. Dark Chocolate Dreams. Oh so good, as usual.
I mix it all together and it ends up being this mixture that’s kind of like cookies and cream!!! Heaven in my mouth.
Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday and so we have fun things planned! I am skipping PT (so sue me) to go eat lunch with my mom and some of her co-workers for her birthday (probably) and then we are going out with some family tomorrow night. And then on saturday I am making her a birthday cake… it’s gonna be GOOD… well I hope anyway. Should be a fun weekend!
Have a great night!
Love,
Jess
“But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!” – Habakkuk 2:3
The Process of Healing 
Glad there’s no cause for concern for the pain issue – must be a relief for you, too! And meeting with the nutritionist sounds like it could be a great learning experience, too – breathe deep! Once you get this first meeting out of the way, I bet you’ll be a lot more comfortable with it, ya know? I’m really interested in hearing how the meeting goes, though! Will she be generating a meal plan for you, do you know? And sorry about having to measure stuff – that does sound like a pain
I think the only stuff I really measure are grains and stuff – like servings of oats, bulghur, quinoa, etc. I think I’m a pretty good “eyeballer” but at the same time I would be interested to see if I’m staying close to serving sizes or not!
Those oats look great…but you know what I think would go REALLY well mixed in there? figs!! Oh, yeah…blackberry fig oats?! 😛
And my taste buds have TOTALLY changed. I used to hate pretty much all veggies except peas. Now look at me! haha.
Dinner also looks great – and that amazing grass powder. Have a ton of fun with you mom’s birthday tomorrow, and can’t wait to see the cake.
Have a good night, love ya girl!
My tastes have definitely changed over the years! I think I eat twice as many different kinds of veggies as I used to… Still don’t touch the fruit, but maybe one day, right? ha ha
Sorry about all the paperwork and such… just think about the food journaling as you do about putting the food on the blog! 🙂 Or maybe, could you give them the link to your blog? It might be helpful for them, too- giving them a general idea of what you’ve been eating (for more than just three days…)
Oooh, I love juicy blackberries SO much, too. And that dessert…holy yum.
I wanted to thank you for your incredibly kind comment on my “stressful day post”!! I really, really appreciate your understanding and encouragement. Thank you for your kind heart! 🙂
I used to hate blackberries too but now I love them! Craziness
I hope the appts. go well 🙂
The taco bake looks good! Healthy Mexican fare is rare (rhyme!)
Your blackberries look so good. It reminds me I need to make a huge grocery trip. That taco thing looks so good!
I’m so sorry your in pain. Where is the pain? what kind of pain?
Love the close up of the bananas…and the brownie of course!! Take pics of that cake for your ma!!
Sorry about your pain but I’m glad there is no cause for concern. I hope things improve soon.
My tastes have totally changed over the years. I am much more open to eating things I wouldn’t have touched with a 10 foot pole a few years ago. I can’t believe all the things I’ve been missing!
Those blackberries look so tasty! I can not wait until they are summer-priced (aka not $7 a container!). Good luck at the Nutritionists & happy almost Friday 🙂
holy smokes, it looks like i could touch those blackberries through my laptop screen. i ate those in my oats today! 🙂
HEY my beautiful girl!!!!
AHH ive missed you!!! Im so sorry about the meal plan thing- I know that has to send bad vibes..just keep pushing through and doing what you need too.. you KNOW God will reign through all of this.. you just gota stay focused and keep building up HIS kingdom instead of yours (Im preaching to myself..I build up MY kingdom when it should really be GODS!!) praying for you love!! you are SO FREAKING STRONG AND AMAZING!
I love the pickle on the wrap!!!!
That chocolate is making me drool 🙂
Happy birthday to your mum!!
I know how you feel about the dietician thing – but don’t be scared! She’ll be understanding cos no doubt she will have seen it all before. And she’ll probably have training in ED stuff too! In regards to the weighingthing, that does suck 😦 But don’t let any crazy ED thoughts into your head – follow my mantra; if you wouldn feel bad about writing it on the blog cos it was ‘ED behaviour’, don’t do it!! Blogs are fab for keeping you accountable 🙂
Love you! xxxx
I love the Habakkuk verse. Thanks for sharing! I don’t think I ever would have come across it on my own.
Your blackberries look delicious! They’re not in my stores yet, but I did just pick up a bag of frozen ones while I wait.
And I don’t remember the last time I ate a pickle, but your wrap makes them look SO GOOD that I’m absolutely craving them. It’s breakfast time here. Is that weird? Yes. I think I’ll wait until lunch… 😉
Love ya, girl. xoxo
I can imagine how annoying it will be to measure things after working so hard to overcome that compulsion, but it’s really for the best, so take it in stride and remember in three days you can go back to making your meals normally! Hang in there with all those forms. I’ve never sat down an gone through the entire thing at once with one person, but I’ve told the story in bits in pieces to my therapist, BF and dad, and it’s always rough. Praying for you love!!
Happy birthday to your mommy!! What kind of cake are you making? Birthdays are the best, because they’re always an excuse to make something that takes hours and hours 🙂
Hope PT starts feeling better for you! I’m glad the therapist toned it down a notch, hopefully it helps!! Have an amazing Friday love!! xoxo
I agree with Amy, it might be helpful for your Nutritionist to see what you are eating on a daily basis. Also, don’t be nervous about discussing your ED with her, I’m sure she has dealt with many cases before and will not judge you or anything. Have fun at lunch today!
Telling your nutritionist about your ED will probably be very scary at first, but I bet it will also feel really GOOD too– like a weight lifted off of your shoulders.
I struggled with bulimia through high school and college, and in grad school, in a memoir class, I wrote an essay about it. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done, turning that essay in to be workshopped by about twenty people, but it also was a huge RELIEF. It felt like I was being cut free from some chain.
my food tastes have dramatically changed as i got older. i used to hate sweet potatoes, asparagus & broccoli & now i love all three!
Happy birthday to your momma! I’m glad to hear that you talked things over with your therapist and got your anxieties settled a bit. Try not to be too scared of the nutritionist and admitting that you suffered from an ED. Remember, they deal with people who have problems with eating all the time, so nothing probably surprises them anymore and they’re not there to judge you, but to help you. It’ll all be worth it if you can correct the osteopenia, right? Big hugs to you and stay strong.
My tastes have definitely changed over time. I used to eat junk food like mad, and now I genuinely crave whole foods.
I am sorry you are still in pain! I am constantly saying good things for you!!!
I’m excited that you’re going to meet with a nutritionist! It’ll be really helpful. 🙂 Having to fill out those forms won’t be fun but at least you’ll do it and then it’ll be done.
My tastes have changed SO much, it’s ridiculous. I love it though because they’ve changed to like more variety and healthier foods. 🙂
chocolate amazing grass is a big fave of mine! and your wrap with pickles looks incredible 🙂 i’m glad you’re going to tell the nutritionist everything. there’s something freeing about admitting your issues…like once it’s verbalized, a little bit of it leaves your body. i don’t know if that makes sense, but it’ll turn out great!
Good evening my everyday-hero,
again : you impress by the way you handle the situation, and I admire you also for your honesty about the struggles.
To fill out that scheme is not easy for you, as it triggers the traces the eating disorder has produced in your mind. You are very brave to do this, to fill it out, measuring and all. As you say, it is a help for both her and you in the further treatment/ evaluation.
I can very much relate to the stress in sharing “your story” with strangers. It does not matter that we know very well that they are doing their job, that they have to know this and that in order to get a sense of who we are and how they might can help us. It is not comfortable. I always get filled with a sense of shame, guilt and confusion when I try to tell one therapist after another ( I have seen quite many ) about when my eating disorder started, how it developed, what might have triggered it etc.
It is so many different stories to tell, so many aspects that might have participated in me developing anorexia.
It is exhausting to try to tell all of this to a person you have never met before, and who you know get paid for listening to you.
Ok, this all looked a bit negative, sorry for that. It is just that I feel for you, and I do hope that this nutrionist turns out to be a great help for you. You are an amazing person Jessica, wish you the best weekend and hope that you all have a fun time celebrating your mothers birthday 🙂
Sorry that sharing your story and tracking all your food will be seems so uncomfortable, but I think it will be sooo worth it. As you recognize, the nutritionist its there for you and can help you recover soooo much!
I hope you aren’t too worried about filling in your ED history. Just remember they need to know these things to treat you fully. It will be hard though but I know you will get through it in the same strong and positive way that you always do. I hope the nutritionist turns out to be a help to you as well. Loving the eats as well!
I know what you mean about measuring, it’s definitely a love/hate thing for me. Good luck talking to your nutritionist- YOU CAN DO IT!
u remind me how much i just love wraps so much. not just the taste but the whole idea of them! your so fabulous girl. hope ur weekend is as amazing as you ❤ xoxo
I think it will be good to start to open up to more people about the ED–and your nutritionist is a great person to share it with. Im sure she has dealt with many wonderful people just like yourself and she will go to great lenghts to get your body as healthy as it can be.
I really like amazing grass and would love for them to just stick me on their website in a tshirt and make me a grass head (for free). until then, I just check to see if it’s on sale each time I’m at the store. I didn’t like any of the berry kinds I tried before…
HAPPY WEEKEND! hope your fun times ahead are full of it
Katherine
Just a thought – maybe measure your food *after* you establish/put together what you’re going to eat. I mean, that might make it more of a pain to do, but that way you know that your nutritionist is getting the best idea of what you eat on a normal basis. Because, if you’re anything like me, measuring food before eating it tends to change the amount that I normally would eat (whether it’s more or less). Does that make sense…? To be honest, I can’t really imagine any diet changes she might recommend. I mean, you’re diet is nearly perfect! But I think it’s smart that you’re doing absolutely everything you can to get better 🙂 Good luck, babe! xoxo
Jess-babe, I’m sorry that things are still hard for you. I’m quite surprised that you are doing PT at this stage, because the 2 physicians I saw both told me that when you are in the crutches stage right up until you are pain free, that entire bracket of healing happens through rest. I did not start going to Athletic Therapy until I was able to pass certain diagnostics (standing on the affected leg). Are you able to do that yet? I’m not a physician, and I can’t claim to know better than an expert, but I’ve just been told by so many people that the bone is so vulnerable that premature strengthening is too stressful. My AT tells me that pain in the hip we can deal with through soft tissue work and sacral adjustments, but pain in the bone/groin is a non-negotiable red light. I should remind you though, that I ran on a stress fracture for THREE years, so you might be able to progress much faster! I also really recommend seeing an osteopath, if you have access. I am really fortunate to work with some of the best sports medicine physicians in Canada, but mostly to be with someone who connects all of the dots between everything from my cycle to my appetite to my injury.
If it doesn’t feel right, I think you should either pause with your PT or get a second opinion from your physician. Strengthening is absolutely imperative to recover in a better position, but it’s not worth stressing and already….stressed fracture! What does your intuition tell you? I totally support you and hope that you feel better soon!
That Dark Chocolate Dreams looks delicious – is that peanut butter and dark chocolate? Yum yum!
I hope all goes well with the nutritionist – I’m seeing one too next week and I’m dreading it for similar reasons…
Jealous of the vita-top, I’ve checked them out and you definitely can’t get them in England 😦 or the amazing looking amazing grass!
I know it’s hard – but I do think you’re helping yourself as much as you can. You’re in my thoughts and prayers 🙂 I adore summer berries – yours look amazing with breakfast 😀